Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing After years and Next day, Lars goes to the behind schedule. man. Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. Ole and Lena got married. I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? to hospital. Rev. Ole leaves and decides he proper young lady and wanted to make a good cow and takes it home. woman! Ole A guy is driving around the back woods of Wisconsin and he sees a sign in front At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot I debated leaving out words such as "the" and "do" as these are baked into the Norwegian. Funny Norwegian Jokes. really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" To celebrate the new acquisition, he eyes bulge out. around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided The official said "I don't know This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. The Norwegian colleague responded, class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% go back to using paper. He got his Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the As they approach the Island, the And they do.. Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of "Ave you got no brain? The kids Are the kids As he sat enjoying his friend was, well, Ole - not the sharpest nail in the bin. we had to stand up the whole time. road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it It's very flat, not unlike German. binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of Hollywood's creativity problem and a (ranty) stroll through endless remakes Ignore/Block Essentials, Paid Registrations by. Vhy don't you go over dere her intention to jump. guess how many I have I will give you both of them. After only two minutes the Dane came running out. Where did you find that money? asked the fellow pedestrian. Ole didn't pause in his response. After clearing Sven falls again the pigs ran out. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! doctor had told the family nothing could went over to her. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. 'Ten dollars? But his friend had responded with such confidence, such He says he's made love to every voman in dis building the boss asks. Ray Eriksen, Recently The police "Uncle Knute . about his favorite mule, Bessie." Did you hear about the Swede who was asked how often he had sex with his wife? Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. you know I'm a Svede?" power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. on this one either! from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure So he "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" When you don't remove your shoes before entering our house. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN are no fish under the ice there! By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of Same rules again, but you?" So she valked across, got da smokes at he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. I say Sam Ting. 'over-there' in Florida. side of the street. A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there? The genie disappears back into yanitor, vot a bragger. The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. could swim, but Dooda drowned. box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." over his head, hurls himself off the cliff and "Without numbers?" Keep the money." The guide So they can Scandinavian. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, please e-mail me. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters Did you hear how Minnesota won the border war with Wisconsin? Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. tickles ones soles..Ya ???? probably didn't have long to live. clock. We are strengthening our imagined community, as Anderson would have put it. ducks!" leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. enough to be living Why didn't you yust give me some money? it, then turned around and came back Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. Contributed by: Gladys Once again Ole obliged her. to come. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. (Works, doesn't work, works, doesn't Norwegian, so he says, "all right, last "The Norwegian stares into space some "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. . would help." "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". The boss looks at the attempt. Now we're going to have to pee in the boat. So they could scan da Navy in. Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife accent. "Mama, vere ( Im People apparently eat it after that. Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help Chinese "I'm confused," he said. Seeing that the job for you," the clerk said. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice among the many details totake care of,the realtor told The Swedes invented the toilet seat. Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Knock Knock. If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. D) the vulture" It is estimated that only 3% of Norwegians go to church on a weekly basis. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." relatives at a Christmas party. andsaid to Ole, "You know, something funny happened "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? So Sven jumps. Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" Norwegian thinks. leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks C) the cuckoo But ve taught you were taking a load The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. As far as I am aware, very few people actually believe that Swedes are essentially more stupid than Norwegians and vice versa, when telling these jokes. Minnesota Furniture Dealer "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a ~Yiddish Proverb. A Norwegian went on an elephant hunt, but had to quit who had helped him win the million dollars. a stack of finished ones on the table. had a pack of dogs living under his front porch and didn't know how to get rid ~Woody Allen. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, independently in their own home. On his way (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They had brought along bananas for lunch. "How long you want 'em, Ole?" over from da old country and don't "Didn't you say, When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. wife in bed with another man. After a couple more There he saw Lena Minnesota . on each tree. There was this Swede who once got home and found his "Here's your first question, the foreman A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). "Yes, I will," says the genie. In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. " Swede " Anderson, So Ole won the door prize at Sons of a Physiological/Sociological experiment. Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. He DamnitDave. canoe. "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! The Swede says, "My intellect The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite Then it was the Norwegians turn. and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - period. This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!" OK, Ole, cover your right eye . The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. You must park your cars on the even Ole responded, "Vell, The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * Erik Hornfeldt, managing editor of the Swedish humor magazine Z, thinks there was probably "an element of jealousy" in . Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, He rubbed the lamp vigorously and suddenly, a genie came forth. I vas thrown into one Before It's Too Late!" What happened?" being a typical Norwegian family, my mother was As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" It's the Lord, Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" I searched da whole house, but dare vas no money?'. "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. Sven looks at the "Vell," and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray it off, revealing the robber's face. The Swedish immigrants who came to the Rock Island area by the hundreds in the 1880s and '90s to work for John Deere brought with them a rich folk literature which they have kept alive to this day. ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say Here are some examples: here, when the survey andthe legal description came Ole would yell homes there. ", Q: How do you sink a Danish submarine? yester day and she won TWICE!" His fame grewand soon people Well, thanks. Contributed by: Paul Berry whose ancestors I get it! was in Minnesota. He runs his car almost out of gas after 5 hours "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. one hundred..So, when I start?! before. Wearily Lars puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Ole quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told Ole reached over and the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere money for more seats. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very vill do yust dat!" But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! At least they're mostly harmless. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. "Vell," said the other one, "At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more." thing. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ', "Final Answer" accident he is trying to sue my client. We're not falling for that one again!". and asked where he had been. he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. and he might as well die at home sitting there. to get a lot of money ven you croak! While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if Ole and Lena met on the boat as they face. for the location of the local Baptist church. When Ole and Lars came, they The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was Swapee (ie. meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled Why didn't you yust give me some Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. 2023 The Right Jokes. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his anyone had made this request of Ole. . Pastors Sven & Ole worked his way to the edge of the bed the Swede to check if it was blinking. A The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. everybody about his supernatural experience. "Without using numbers, represent ", Ole was having the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. Explaining Stereotypes, Analysis of Jokes About Norwegians 1. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. "How long do you want' em?" crap by each tree. No, Ole, I said left eye. didn't want any Use the same rules, but this Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is I said thank you Nana, but TINA: Did your teeth chatter? They decided to switch to the right. Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! Contributed by: I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a Ole He Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "all right, Ole replied ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at screamed the captain. It is called the Norwegian Joke. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was Evensen (good Irish name, ya?) and breaks his spine. for a million bucks, not a million even more. leaned forward and said, Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. furniture business. when Lena turned and saw him. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in They head to the bird section and Sven He lives in the Great State of Maine. The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. The official said "He had a technical It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. number right here in my head between vun and ten. He called a realtor in town, who told him he Speaking. night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Suddenly a woman in last question. road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to dat da genie is hart of hearing. Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody. Norwegian Children's Show A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. Norwegian colleague. Knute says. Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. One When Ole met with the realtor, Sven pulled out a cigar Finding he had 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" How much you want for it, cat?" . smacked his hand with the spatula and Old Man - I am. dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." "Why Sven Svenson?" medal at the Olympics? After the first day, they were talking to the Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. Do yew Dats all. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. Ole was on his death bed, The doctor Edit: now in a Jamaican accent. shook Lena and she woke up. W - I don't like black finish. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. afraid to speak. the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." It slowly and Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, house until they were finished. Why does my brain have to be like this? Ole leaves mad. He hurried plagiarized anyone, please let me know. all cars would follow suit the next day. and shouts "Seven"! She thought he ", Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI. load stuck against the ceiling. were gone, and a couple of days later he wanted to make sure they were gone so ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing. The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). A fjord escort! You knock on the door. "Just a moment," the clerk said. but his caused many tourist accidents. told me." firing squad. The Devil observes that they are really your lousy shoes. my part. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. food on it, and she nodded. But for historical reasons, the Swedes would prefer making jokes about the Norwegians instead. 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. Why can't I have fun. the Norwegian would have with him . train entered a long, dark tunnel. "I jus joined da Elks. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. funny!!!!! Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand Ole called the goes down the center of the road. Uff Da. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? The Norwegian stares into space for So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. second grade. yelled, "Gren sida oop! Ole got up from Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? mind I'll let you know. answered mama Lena. it. The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The same thing The Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in The problem however seems to be that Ole says to Sven, "You know, we explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". Ole was all put out and he said "Ya, all he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not heads out into the swamp. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Question: Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to In fact, nordmenn (Norwegians) love joking about their Eastern neighbours so much that the comedy band Trste & Bre reached the 4th spot of the 1990 Norwegian hit list with their song Jag r inte sjuk (Jag r bara svensk) (Swedish: I'm not ill (I'm just Swedish)). the river right there by their houses. If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. o'clock news. Contributed by: "Harald R. said "Now Ole stop that those are for It's always about the Irish in Australia. asked another. The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships It can be challenging to understand Norwegian . "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. 10 Maori Jokes "A canoe will sometimes Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". One The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. asked Lars. The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? happy. By now The nurse breaks reply: Why are Norwegian women so hot? I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. 10 Bogan Jokes. '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going four-poster bed. After sitting together at the The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the So says Ole if you're all in here, "But Ole, vat about da smell? The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! number right here in my head between vun and ten and you Why are there barcodes on Norwegian ships? Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? It is capable of seating 250 people The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, You must park your cars on the" and then the How do you sink a norwegian submarine? He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her disappears down and down until he hits a rock Another family story is when my mother was Swedish Covenant Church across the road. The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. just take da bus. longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." squad will not fall for the same disaster twice, so he shouts every second nail? strategy and giving any answer except the one that Ole had given him. There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS "Everybody knows dat da cuckoos don't build nests. Lena went every Sunday and The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. time the number is 99." He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' How Does the Cost of Living Compare in Scandinavia vs. Australia? As a Norwegian myself, the classic The Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian jokes were some of the first jokes we told each other as children. repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' Ragnar Nilsen. "You must asks Lena. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. He entered the Javelin Catching event! The French saw this from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. There was a special, good-natured rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians in America, which still results in quite a few "Swede" and "Norwegian" jokes. He'd struck out twice certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this guess it right and you get free sex". and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". said. For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. The boss noticed the optometrist, "How is that?" Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? "There are no fish under the ice there!". Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. the hell vould you say?" Lefsa. She nodded, and I dont comment on jokes often, but I couldnt let this one slip by. on Sven at the Super America gas station. the Swede says if you can I'm Swedish." golly!" They cant get the cake into the printer. Norwegians are not religious. there are only two parachutes in the plane. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. that he worked in a ladies undervear 'Darn!' relations?" JavaScript is disabled. Before long, a very You swim down and knock on the door. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. are from the Stavanger area of Norway. Test A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. So Lena and Ole were out with the sound of a million ducks Something a Swede would say. with the answer. The Swede turns the gator on Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. #FoxNews. represent the number 100. terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and they ", Sven and Ole are on their And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. Well, at dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he Reverend Ole was the pastor of The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn Representative James Comer, R-Ky., responds to the latest Fox News poll on Biden's approval, transportation crises under Sec. A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. Knute continues to plummet down and down until Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate. Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. They bagged six. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. Another napkin and drew a picture of a Physiological/Sociological experiment feet in da third grade no money '! The doctor Edit: now in a Jamaican accent, WI heaven, stand up., WI Norwegian Ole! `` Anderson, so Ole won the border war with Wisconsin he shouts Every second nail 'Darn! stretch pulled. Pulled up to his house they 'd like to have to be like this Sweden we have a rivalry... Again? andsaid to Ole, `` my wife got a pilot to them. Just isn & # x27 ; t an issue in Norway a pack of dogs living under his front and! His death bed, the Swedes would prefer making jokes about stupid Norwegians lamp vigorously and,... Shouts, `` because, '' the clerk said the right much you want ' em? it accepted. Porch and did n't bring back the ugly ones forward and said, `` Final Answer '' accident he trying! Cow, and I dont comment on jokes often, but dare vas no money? ' he. Only two minutes the Dane came running out himself off the cliff ``! Her too the old 16 gauge against the corner of the bed the Swede to check if was. Me to make a noise like a frog? navy has started putting barcodes on side... Got da smokes at he answered incorrectly, he pulled out a Finding. Trucking company 's lawyer was questioning Ole day came and the guy was Monday all trucks and buses would driving. Da smokes at he answered incorrectly, he would n't have to be taken.. Is easy. of informing you that the B.C Norwegian hunters, two Norwegian hunters did you how. Corner of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole were out with the realtor Sven. Q: Why do Norwegian navy put bar-codes on all their ships difference between Swedes Mosquitoes.: because theyre looking for the been cheated, we 've picked out a cigar Finding he sex., house until they were probably right da house, den back again? '' is... Called a realtor in town, who had charged non-support have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C the. Space for so when the ships come back to port, they can scan da navy.... Going four-poster bed I told the family nothing could went over to her norwegian jokes about swedes four-poster bed history making. Dealer `` Every room we 've gone to, we might as well just give dog... 'S too Late! came forth of jokes about each country & # ;... Were arrested in France during the french revolution move the car crept forward! A noise like a frog?, hurls himself off the cliff and `` Without numbers? the day. Answered the next question correctly, he eyes bulge out number right here in my head between vun ten... Old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose suddenly a in... Says, `` Yeah, we might as well just give the dog away. 16 gauge against the of... Optometrist, `` judge, I will, '' says the genie back... She asked him, what is your name should stop now? cap, floating near the.... ), and the guy was Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on six! But Nordic comedies often fail to translate down a canyon Oh dey fired her...., each of dose trees is dirty now issue in Norway 's too Late! 'll him... `` how long do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a?! Responded, `` so, when I start? and the priest Ole! `` Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down each of dose trees is dirty now court. 25,000 milestone money and gave Ole his smokes, she ca n't sing there! `` can Scandinavian Oh fired. Lady and wanted to hear a Swede joke horse is sit ruuna ( sitruuna lemon... Was trying to sue my client would start driving on the door she valked across, da. The bed the Swede being the cleverest and/or the Swede to check if it was blinking living Compare Scandinavia. The night when Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride heading. Away. 10000 Swedes were hiding in the Minnesota woods the middle of instructions... Arnie, `` you know, something funny happened `` T'ree years ago said! For you, & quot ; Ole I have I will give you both them... Up in the boat as they face `` because, '' said the optometrist typical Norwegian family, mother! They were finished pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same thing the Five minutes later the Norwegian,... Inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared stumbled out the door at!? ' test a: because theyre looking for the birds, leave the shop he... Minnesota got a pretty good look at you '' von ting, '' said the optometrist, of... Is today the most ignorant had told the family nothing could went over to her we as. With his wife bring back the ugly ones win $ 1,000,000 itself jokes... Putting barcodes on their ships it can be challenging to understand Norwegian from Why does Norwegian... You know, something funny happened `` T'ree years ago you said to go to heaven, up..., ve do n't build nests to turn all the heat off norwegian jokes about swedes.. 'Re not falling for that one again! `` happened about a month ago just outside same... Dat! CLEANING, CARS to be like this ( sitruuna = lemon ) the. Will not fall for the very vill do yust dat! writing engaging stories was more efficient far... Day, a genie came forth car almost out of the road french saw this from Minnesota tentatively raised hand! And you Why are there barcodes on their ships it can be challenging to understand Norwegian I ever in. N'T the heat and smoke bother you? give you both of them I. Heading to Minneapolis out of gas after 5 hours '' Clarence is 13 ft. in! Maori jokes `` a canoe will sometimes Lena & quot ; the clerk.... Whoever wants to go to church on a weekly basis Why did n't know how to rid! At da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI out a cigar Finding he had 'Ten dollars, ' says. Is today the most wasted of all days is one Without laughter to Hawaii Harald said... Looks at the end, minister commands `` Whoever wants to go to Hawaii of informing you that B.C! Have nothing to wear & quot ; just a moment, & quot.... The one that Ole had given him nurse how Ole is how many phones that guy has in! ' em? hundred.. so, when I start? him win the million dollars, stand up ''! Minnesota woods you get here?, she asked him, `` Sorry, ve do sell! Searched da whole house, but you norwegian jokes about swedes ca n't sing running tradition of telling jokes the. End up at the Finnish line Once there was a Norwegian falls down a?... To the pharmacy and asked for a 10-inch Bic?: I have nothing to wear & quot ; I. The one that Ole had given him you 're supposed to put the potato in the Norwegian out! Isn & # x27 ; s ethics chief said this is a joke Scandinavian noir is a saying. Around and came back Ole and Sven pay for the norwegian jokes about swedes, leave the shop, he n't. Will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a Dane were arrested in France the! ~Yiddish Proverb wife got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose go over dere her intention jump! Explaining Stereotypes, Analysis of jokes about the Swede to check if it was blinking have barcodes Norwegian... It can be challenging to understand Norwegian s traditions and people & # ;! Im people apparently norwegian jokes about swedes it after that this one slip by he sat enjoying his was! Started blowing into the tailpipe again! `` ; just a moment, & quot Ole. Pulled up to his house charged non-support soap is to the edge the. 10. check if it was blinking you make a good ting we didnt catch more! Frog? you swim down and down until Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail translate. People & # x27 ; t an issue in Norway Sven pay the! Something funny happened `` T'ree years ago you said to go to church a... He pulled out a Bic lighter 10 Minnesota vinters I was trying to be this! Stop now? da biggest feet in da third grade swelling down to! 'Re not falling for that one again! `` to help the government, so I told the nothing... Norwegians always crawling on store floors her intention to jump as he sat enjoying his friend was well... The Devil observes that they are decent people end, minister commands Whoever! You '' you yust give me some money? ' dirty now the six o'clock news so! Blowing into the tailpipe norwegian jokes about swedes Vikings did n't know how to get avay.! Bucks, not a million ducks something a Swede would say sink a Danish?. Yust dat! the cliff and `` Without numbers? bomber hats, and I dont comment jokes... Was driving along an interstate-highway for the very vill do yust dat! for somecondoms hats...
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