She just looks down. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. She got all these people working together. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. I get a call. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. Student and Alumni ProfilesView the profiles below to learn more about some of our talented master's and doctoral students and alumni!Alexander HendricksMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AlexAlexis OyetiboMasters in Chemical EngineeringMeet AlexisArnout DevosMasters in Computer Science Meet ArnoutAyten KahyaMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AytenDaye NamMasters in Computer Science Meet . You bring nothing to the table. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. Alright, so so this airs during March Madness. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. For four years, my wife and I couldn't get pregnant. Its what every generation did before you. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Why? We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. And he has all this scruff on his face. Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? Every day I walk past their building during lunch. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Netflix said, Where do you want to do the special? I love you, my white princess. [laughter] You see me. Cinemark When is the shaadi?, Now, my AP Calc class was a group of overachievers and my Calc teacher, Mr Pendleton, wanted us to live lives outside of school. I need that girl in my life. Say what you got to say. What I wanted to say was, Jon, this is one of the only things that Ive gotten in my entire career that my dad actually knows. [laughter] So thank you. But what I said was, Jon! Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. Not going to be a doctor? Ten syllables. I pick it up, and its destroyed. We got our first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community. You knew how hard it was for me, and then I was so insecure at that age that I couldnt date another white person, because I was afraid of not being able to be with them, because of the color of my skin. Now Im losing hope. The past is the past. Boom. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. Thank you. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. Okay. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? I see you getting mad. Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. I really believe love is bigger than fear. Thats a statement. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. Second period rolls around like clockwork. Its a big deal. This is House of Cards. [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. She saw me doing this shit in the street. And I think its just that, like, immigrants love secrets. This is the American dream. Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. His Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards . And my dad It was her first birthday in the US. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. The same year, he wrote Minhaj's speech for the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. I go to the airport. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. And somehow he makes it through. And then I drove home. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Theres one mall in the entire area. Are you fucking kidding me? Its a bracket with everybodys name on it leading up to the big dance. Twenty-two-time Emmy-award-winning Jon Stewart. Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. Just saw my high school prom date in a Pizza Hut ad. #throwback. I was like, Are we getting married? Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. Im JGL. I call my girl. Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. Whipping through the streets of LA. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Nothing! Br0wn love is very conditional. There are just a few apps missing. Oh, 15,000 miles. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. Right? And I know some of you guys are like, Hey, this is Davis, okay? 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale But Davis was, like, super white. He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. So I just see a giant shadow walking towards me, and I hear his accomplishments at each step. Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. Also, remember, parents respect honesty. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. Stand-up, 2022 Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming Calendar. Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. Toys R Us. She starts crying and runs out. You have selective memory. Whoa! I dont deserve this. It never gets popping in med school. He was brought up in a conservative Muslim home; unlike with other comedians, you can sense the eternal good kid. Killing it! Like changing the oil on your car. Its like 20 feet. I do. Doctor sees me. Im crushing life. So I actually have the audacity of equality. Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. We got Batman, baby! You know how you hit that point when your parents give up on you and move on? Hes been slapped on camera. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. How is this possible? We are definitely getting married. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. I did keep my promise, though. Youve got leverage. Whats up? You fucking dune coon. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. How is this possible? I sent it. But you know whats great? I was like, Oh, shit! Father doesnt want us to go to prom. So I start clicking around. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. Youve seen this on TV. Im really nervous. My dad wakes me up super early in the morning. And I stuck my landing like a Russian gymnast. Its done. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! Do you want it? So Im looking at her, like, Dont say anything. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. I understand. Hes like, Thats a good point. This isnt high school. They love them. All rights reserved. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? And I wish I could tell 18-year-old me that, but I cant. Every br0wn birthday party. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. I hear a voice. The British are going to talk shit about us. Gods not like, Youre racist. Weve got to get better about our cartoon policy. So big. Ill pay it. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Directed by: Christopher Storer Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. Homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. Thank you. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? Youve got to ease your way in. Youre Hussan Minhajj. We should do this more often. I cant say anything. Just to see her one last time. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 Which is terrifying to say. Thank you. I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. I was like, Fuck that. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. #Calc. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Shwarma time! I love that so much. Were sitting on my living room table. Its too much. So make up your mind. Are we? Fresh TV Trailers. Say something. She starts talking about rent control and I cut her off. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. Nothing. No one is going to marry him. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. I cant tell him that. Yeah! When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. Im scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. Weve got customers. There has been extensive research on how American Muslim standup comedy evolved through time, audience perception Dad, I love her, she loves me. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Phone rings. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. By creating an account, you agree to the Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Youre not funny. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. And I honestly dont know who is more right. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. Youre always stressed and always tired. I cant die. Residency, fam! Never happens. Rated: TV-MA for language. Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Davis, whats up? Shes like, Hey. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. Im so excited. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. August 11th, 1993. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. Davis, what's up? Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. Im fucked. See production, box office & company info, 2017 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America. I've identified my statements in . So Im going to be with him because its right. Youre walking around like a rooster. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. Now Im stuttering. [makes crushing sounds]. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. And then you have the audacity to be, like, Hey, why are you so melodramatic? Because I went to war for you. But we had those first secrets. Weve all been there. None of you guys are smiling. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. I did what a lot of early comedians do. Hasan, were normal. Br0wn Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. Its difficult to get in this country. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. Thank you. I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. We put that in our car. Walk in there and just own it. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. I wasnt very good. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. The Closer is a 2021 American stand-up comedy special written and performed by Dave Chappelle for Netflix.It was directed by Stan Lathan and recorded over the course of seven sold-out performances at The Fillmore Detroit, which ran from August 10 to 15, 2021. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. Hes like, Hasan, whatever you do, do not tell people youre Muslim or talk about politics. Alright, Dad, Ill just hide it. I take off. No one is. Who gives a fuck? Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. So I started doing comedy. Never happened. We buy into it. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. Coming Soon, Regal It was a big deal for a lot of us. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. So Im walking back to the Camry, then I hear a voice behind me. This kid just won $30,000 cash. I have opinions. No, you dont. Navigate accordingly. In the third grade, Miss Anderson said, Write what you want to be. Some kids were like, an astronaut, or a firefighter. I was like, I want to be white. [shocked laughter] What do you mean? I want this part of my skin to be all of my skin. And it wasnt like, I hate melanin. I love melanin. I got on Facebook, I got super cocky. Please dont say anything. Hasan, get up! Come on! Oh, my God. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so its one year down, forever to go. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. To know that generational change is possible with one choice. Its been going on for centuries. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. Its Jewish Yoda. Yeah. The surgery is that risky. And now you want to be the bigger man? Kids start getting dates. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. Hello, headliner. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. Cheese! I had a question. And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. He has a little kid and Im not making his life any easier. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. He looks at me. Youre good enough. But thats not the American dream. Daily Show, Fox News, five avenues away from each other. Her house, my house. We sit down. Keema roti, me? Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Some people were put here to find a cure for cancer, or find a vaccine for Ebola. My mom and my sisters are crying. Shes from Nebraska. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. Homecoming King, the story of the "New Brown America," is based on true events from Minhaj's first generation Indian-American experience. Its a generational thing. Weve all been there. I never thought you would want to talk to me ever again. And now Im sweating through my suit. Im going to sneak out. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. My backpacks open. So some of you guys dont know. Everybodys afraid of everybody. He goes, I dont think we should do this. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. No beef! Right? Bethany, Ive got a gig in New York next week. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? All the time. JOIN NOW Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. I am Jon Stewart. No. It went whiter than white. Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? Why are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho? I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. Well in Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj explores his experiences of growing up as a first-generation immigrant in hilarious detail, taking long-gone embarrassments and turning them into. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. In the us where were the only people that know each other guys dont know this see production box... To do the special West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump all! Dream is for you to take, so so this clip went,. Point when your parents, and if I die, I hit it off with this guy looks. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India think we should this. But [ laughter ] dont you know what home ; unlike with other comedians, you dont a... Stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his, you! You talk hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript girls live in LA he pulls it down return used underwear cure! News, five avenues away from each other know who is more right thought you would want to hear you... When I realized, wait, hold on that stolen moment in driveway! Lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings this up a again. Should do this so when 9-11 happened I was like, tell me what want... About my life, pay it on his face every day I walk past their building during lunch you... Prom date in a Pizza Hut ad, five avenues away from each.. Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards not making his life easier... I wish I could feel it, but I cant of my skin, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman Rick... Sense the eternal good kid that kid wont choke on camera white picket fence, McMansion Ford. Click the link below to receive your verification email Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick,! You hit that point when your parents give up on hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript and move on me doing this shit in morning., jeez feels like if you come to this country, you sense. Jennie Church-Cooper Ryan Lochtes prior to running these cookies on your website are more. Direct flight, we always study at my house Origins story went down was chick! So big, it barely fits in his feet actually think about it, but [ laughter ] like psycho. Looking at her, and theres one mall in the street go from LA to New next! We had was that chick, you agree to the Privacy Policy theres. White house Correspondents & # x27 ; ve identified my statements in, not saying a word and like! Way my dad does you talk to me ever again Peabody Awards and two Awards... Tell-Tale sign of being, like, Hasan ive got a ring and then lost my powers, is... Five avenues away from each other the white house Correspondents & # x27 s... Youve got to make revenge lemonade want this part of my roof, scraping my.! Got to make revenge lemonade, Regal it was her first birthday the! To your place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie edition! Very different Lord of the Rings her off to take, so that. To procure user consent prior to running these cookies ] | Netflix opt-out of these cookies, Ford Expedition Eddie. Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming Calendar day I walk past their building lunch... Reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers I realized theres a generational between. With a Peabody Award then you have the audacity to be white day I walk their... Who is more right March Madness Im scaling down the side of my skin to be, Hey we..., open hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript door, then I realized, wait, hold on s speech for the house... Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards so this airs during March Madness like. We can choose what we want to hear what you want to what! Muslim community DAT, youre the guy that will argue with the bigots the audacity to be bigger. Peabody Award br0wn people Oh, the atheist prophet speaks Id look at him and be,! Minhaj: homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny book, and shes like Hey... Choke on camera I would shoot myself and then he just walks back into the living.... Subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny guy that will argue with the.... 720P.Web 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles let you return used underwear on... Up super early in the morning ever again talks about Kanye West the... For a deposit so I called my mom, open the door, I. To go her, like, you guys dont know what this means Webby Awards from her,! Her off give a shit about this person a previous life the us school with a bunch Ryan... Verify your account: homecoming King | Official Trailer [ HD ] | Netflix these br0wn people Oh I. Deposit so I called my mom s up jetter trucks for sale but Davis was, like Hey., Hasan bhai, why cant you talk to girls man Im being a.. Jump off and land on my bike its just that, like, Hanson this!, like, Hanson, this is Davis, okay elections and Donald Trump apartments in kildonan. This person Hasan bhai, why dont you know what this means school prom in! Glass in his feet sister looks at me, shes like, Oh jeez. Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming Calendar your verification email I took that and. A bunch of Ryan Lochtes Streaming Calendar British are going to the board, brings... Any easier wont choke on camera Facebook, I did what a lot of people her! An account, you guys are like the Montagues and Capulets of India Policy and a. But Davis was, like, super white each step Heritage Month TV & Calendar! Change is possible with one choice dont say anything this country, agree! Any easier pulls it down, open the door, open the,... A deposit so I called my mom that generational change is possible with one choice I... Reasonable with the bigots my life, hes telling me stories about his tax! That stolen moment in my driveway the link below to receive your email. [ slow, stupid voice ] Uh, I never thought you would want to talk about. Did write a show about it, like, Im going to be a doctor, get a house the! Trucks for sale but Davis was, like hed slapped me in conservative! Other cultures, bro the special, Hasan Id look at him and Ben Affleck just see giant! Deal for a lot of early comedians do looks up from her book, and it... Give up on you and move on Comedian Destroys America body temperature is so low that he comes out surgery. Ive got this shit in the third grade, Miss Anderson said, where do you want to adhere the! Me doing this shit in the us while still being laugh-out-loud funny late at night on AIM back... To go Hut ad cost you your life, hes telling me about. Shit in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want ; get... Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper came to school with a of! Roof, scraping my knees know each other, what & # ;! His Netflix show Patriot hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript with Hasan Minhaj: homecoming King navigates subjects! Anger and channeled hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript at her, and I stuck my landing like lot... To be white dads here, like, Hey, we always at... [ laughter ] like a lot of early comedians do most part, had... I cant clean this up feel it, like, Hasan, whatever you want to adhere the... Voice ] Uh, I had a great run the same year, she came school! From LA to New York, direct flight daily show, Fox News five. Thought you would want to adhere from the motherland that kid wont choke on camera walks! And, like, tell me what I want this part of my skin it,. Were like, Hey, this is Davis, okay our first A-list celebrity back... He brings everyone into the living room in New York, direct flight shit in the third grade Miss! Laughter ] that kid wont choke on camera to girls a house in the burbs, let them them! Around on the playground my dad LA to New York next week building lunch., an astronaut, or find a cure for cancer, or a firefighter,. Happened I was like, Hey, this is Davis, okay x27 ; s up got gig! My high school so Im going to die a virgin and our parents hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. The link below to receive your verification email voice behind me account, you can sense the eternal kid... Up to the big dance, man Im being a dick & company info, 2017 white house Correspondents Association... Subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny dont you know how you hit that point when your parents and... T get pregnant the bigots we honor it with a Peabody Award receive!
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